There comes a time in life when we must step outside of ourselves
& ask an honest question: What is our purpose? Why are we doing what we do?
For the love? For the money? For the fame? I had to ask myself these questions
when it came to this blog. This is why I haven’t posted a new piece in almost
two years. I've done plenty of writing in this duration of time, but posting it
felt forced. I caught myself worrying
too much about the opinion of others. It impeded & stifled my creativity. I
questioned everything I wrote & it's validity in the space I created for
myself. Along with that, my personal
growth in this same span of time radically changed my train of thought. I
questioned everything around me, and the contradictions showed in my work. At
first, I thought it was a bad thing. In hindsight, I realized that it's all a
part of progression. If growth isn't seen in your craft, than what's the use of
perfecting it?
Also, why should you suppress your growth for the satisfaction
of others? Fuck that!
I'm now at the point in my life where I can be MORE bold in proclaiming my right to carve out an identity that
reflects who I am & who I want to be. My 2 Cents Are Priceless in its
essence is about self-empowerment. Hence the title. No one can put a price on
who you are, what you represent & how you feel. Only person that can
determine that is YOU. You feel as if your energy is worthless, most people
will treat it as such & find ways to keep it there. You feel like it's
worth a trillion dollars, people will either respect it or find ways to bring
you down to their level (whether it's barely scraping by or flat-out broke).
One way or another, you'll be going up against forces who want to question your
worth. This blog, personally speaking, is about taking ownership of my past,
present & future. Unapologetically. With the triumphs, downfalls &
everything in between. The criticism, the praise. The love, the shade. The joy,
the pain. The sunshine, the rain. Being
able to withstand anything that I may come across. Living with the decisions I
made in those circumstances & eventually becoming better for it. If that’s
the price I got to pay for freedom, fuck it. I can take the stones that are
being thrown in my direction. I come from a bloodline of people who made the
vow to remain true to what they believe in & use that spiritual declaration
of liberation to free themselves from bondage. In August of 1791, high priest
Dutty Boukman presided over a ceremony with priestess Cécile Fatiman at
Bois Caïman, on the colony of Saint-Domingue, now known as Haiti/Dominican
Republic. At this ceremony, Boukman prophesized that the slaves would resist,
rise up & revolt against the French colonialists for their independence. They
made the oath to stay loyal to the cause of liberation, their spiritual system,
and to cast aside the God of the oppressors, despite attempts from the colonial
powers to indoctrinate & destroy their culture. This ceremony, later to be
known as Bwa Kayiman,
was said to be the spiritual backbone of The
Haitian Revolution. 13 years later, the
island of Hispaniola stood proud & independent. The Spirit of 1804 is strong in this space.
That same spirit keeps my faith strong & propels me to keep moving forward.
Consider this post my Bwa Kayiman. A
reclamation of the space I created for myself 7 years ago when I was just a
young’n who loved to write how he felt about the world around him. That 19
year-old kid is now a 27 year-old man who continues to evolve with each passing
day, conscious of what’s taking place around him. My passion/desires are no longer driven thru
the vessel of my ego. That, along with pride can be the reason for our
downfall. Love has no room to grow when these two entities are taking up room
in our hearts. Once I put those vices aside, I seen the love that I’ve been
seeking all these years. Whatever privilege this man has had
during his life, he rejects them wholeheartedly. He understands that his
salvation will forever be in jeopardy as long as there are other oppressed
groups being stigmatized, abused & targeted. He listens with an open mind.
Loves with an open heart. Exercises patience & compassion with those who
were once in his shoes & are yet to learn the lessons that helped him out
once upon a time (and still are being reinforced day in & day out). Yes, he still makes mistakes & can be
bull-headed sometimes. But who said detoxing from social conditioning was easy?
I started down this path 10 years ago, and although I came a long way, this
journey is far from over. The demons I battle from my past still show up in
different forms. It boils down to being creative, along with my will &
desire to overcome the forces which labor tirelessly to keep me shackled.
Same way I will fight to maintain the right to my space to
create, I will fight for the right for other individuals in marginalized groups
to sustain their own creative spaces to express themselves & cultivate
identities. As long as we are not hurting/demeaning others when we are creating
these identities, it has every reason to position itself in the ever expanding
dialogue of the human experience. This will not be a blog of policing behaviors
to my personal liking or some bullshit social script. It never was, however,
some of my earlier work reeked of socialized policing. I literally cringed
while reading it. My intentions were sincere & for the most part, I
understood what I was trying to say. At the same time, self-analysis says the
messaging wasn’t hittin’ the way it was supposed to because it was still under
the influence of a way of thinking I was trying to break apart from. Counterproductive, yes, I know. We workin’ on
that though. It’s about making the effort.
If you’re willing to extend a helping hand without all the condescending
mannerisms, you’re welcome in this space. If you find comfort & shelter in
the words I write in this space, come in, relax, and stay for a while! Maybe we
can help each other become better human beings. If you want come here to
critique & lambaste without contributing to the growth of our
consciousness, this isn’t the place for you. We don’t take kindly to energy
vampires who project their insecurities & fears onto others who have their
own burdens to carry. Ain’t nobody got time for that! Just because you’re feeling powerless doesn’t
mean you going to make the rest of us suffer.
If that’s the way you have to go about acquiring the power you so
desperately want, I suggest you occupy a dark room and do some soul searching.
Get that fear out your fuckin’ heart and learn to love yourself unconditionally!
Look into the mirror & stare your competition in the eyes. That reflection
you see is the only person who stands in the way of your growth. Not me or anybody else.
I’d like to end this composition by sending a special
shoutout to all the peeps who have helped me during these last 2 years. It’s
been an everyday struggle for me to shed old habits & ways of thinking. There
are so many people to name & not enough time for me to specifically give
praise to how each one has helped me. Thru love, faith, patience, passion &
constructive criticism, they’ve inspired me to destroy & rebuild for the
betterment of myself, my family & my community. Some of them may not know who I am, or may
not realize how much they’ve empowered me. Hopefully, one day in the not too
distant future, I’ll get a chance to personally thank them for motivating me
when I felt boxed in by destructive influences. I can combat anything in front
of me with more conviction & confidence than ever before. I never felt so
alive! I want to share this joy with others & help them get to this point
where they can stand tall & assert themselves to the world, with no remorse,
and much love to contribute upon humanity.
To all of you beautiful souls, Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
The gift you’ve bestowed upon me is so overwhelming to the point I can’t even
put it into words. It damm near brings me to tears. All I can do is be an
example of what I learned from you.
You never know how your words can impact somebody’s life.
Use them wisely.
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